Friends, Family, Lovers, Marriage Personal Help

Whether it's a relationship with a friend, a family member, a loved one, or an acquaintance - you have the power to make it better. The choice you make on how to use that power is at your discretion... YOU hold the keys.

A relationship takes two people.  You have to give to get and vice versa.  If it doesn't work both ways, then it's not a relationship, it's a dictatorship. 

So what are the keys to building, maintaining, and strengthening your relationships?

• Integrity
• Honesty
• Caring
• Sharing
• Empathy

Integrity is an important component.  Once it is broken, it will take much longer to rebuild the relationship.  It could even end it, because the "trust" has been lost.  Of course things happen and for whatever reason you can't hold true to your word, the opposing party may or may not understand.  The frequency of breaking that trust will determine your integrity.

Honesty also plays a role in trust.  If people don't believe you, then it's difficult to sustain the relationship or start it. 

If you are a caring person, then many of these qualities will often fall into place.  When you care about a person, you take these things very seriously and hold them close to your heart.  Your worst fear is hurting that person because caring is a big priority in keeping them to continue to have faith and believe in you.  It's when you can nurture someone's feelings that you are in sync with them.

There's so much controversy when it comes to sharing in a relationship.  Often times we take advantage of the other person and put our needs first.  A relationship is a two-way street and sharing has more to do with compromise than dividing physical things.  For example, one day it's your turn to do what you want and the next day is the other persons turn.  Learning to share is vital and learning to compromise is equally important.  Although the two over lap and seem synonymous, they are different in their own way.

Empathy is very often misunderstood.  It's the action of understanding a situation as if you were in their shoes.  Often times (guys especially) have a tendency to try and fix everything.  We take the opportunity to empathize and turn it into a game of wit and how we can solve the problem at hand.  This is not necessarily what the other person wants though.  What they want is for you to understand, take their said and console them.  Learning when to empathize takes practice and patience.  We don't want to start a problem just to try and empathize.  But you need to be aware of when and how to use it.  This is why "Men Are From Mars", sometimes we just don't get it. 

Building a relationship, sustaining a relationship, and growing a relationship takes time and patience.  The traits for each are applied differently.

When building a relationship, the emphasis is on building trust.  Until that is built, there is no relationship other than being an acquaintance.  But all the while you need to show you care and are willing to share.

To sustain a relationship, you must continue with all these traits.

A relationship is a living and breathing thing.  The more you put into it, the more it grows.  The more you neglect it, the faster it withers away.  So do you want to be a grower or witherer? 

Warmest Regards,

Russ